What a day... Found out this morning that my maternal grandmother passed away the previous morning in Korea. She was in her upper 90s. God rest her soul.
I was worried about how my mother would take this news, with all that is going on with her illness.
I called her today. She was at the oncologist's office. I talked to them and the oncologist. She had her PET scan and they found another growth in her abdomen - about 1/2 inch in diameter. They are planning a biopsy on this new growth on Thursday, June 21st. If it is cancer, then surgery is not an option. If it is not cancer, then we visit a surgeon to see what options my mother may have to remove the tumor on the pancreas. Whew... tough news to take. I was worried all day about mom's mental state. I called her again in the afternoon. She is always telling me not to worry, and "what can we do?"
The whole aspect of wanting to do everything, and then being powerless to do anything is such a defeating feeling. I'm just drained at the emotional expenditure. Half of me thinks that if time passes, we will return to the typical cycle of holiday visits with the folks and our weekly phone calls. Can that happen again?? We all want more time. However, in this case, I'm starting to think I just don't want mom to suffer.
I'll try to post more upbeat items soon.
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